Righteousness ?

Am I part of the cure
Or am I part of the disease

Lines from Coldplay beautifully encompass a person finally awake questioning his conscience the validity of his existence, the rationality behind his actions, thinking and their coherence. Am I really thinking right, performing right, am I righteous, or what I think, feel, act is just a stupid, lousy piece of shit which dumps me further into the abyss.

Mental Blankness

The brain is said to be working all the time, thinking through the days and night. Then why do I enter a state of pure blankness, nothing to think, nothing remotely inside my brain, not even in the vicinity. At these precise moments, instinctively, I start to mumble something, to make others believe that I have thoughts of grave importance crossing through my brain, but the actual thought is that what the hell am I mumbling and why the fuck am I thoughtless.